101 suggestions to do about life!
1. Do not promise something that you can’t succeed. For example don’t say that you have a list of 101 things and then only give 79. It’s just stupid.
2. Avoid talking to me; I’ll just make your life weirder.
3. Try to talk to me at least once a day; I’ll make your life weirder.
4. Whenever some jock idiots are performing there pregame testosterone infected rituals, simply say, “I’m sorry but I can’t join in. I’m confident with my penis size,” or if you’re a girl, “Men are idiots! Let’s go have a tea party,”
6. Love everybody and everything. Then, when you get bored of that, hate everything.
7. Avoid the number f*ve like the plague.
8. Eat only whole grains and nothing else.
9. Give a child a hug. (A child that you know. Hugging strangers, even if they’re children, is looked down upon)
10. Jaywalk!
11. If someone tells you to walk a mile, run twenty miles. If a teacher assigns five pages, do one hundred. If someone gives you a kiss… Never mind.
12. Make a poem the rhymes “Twelve” with “Elf”
13. Take a 4 year old to a mall and lose him.
14. If you are lucky enough to be considered by me a friend, don’t argue with me. I want a friend not a debate.
16. Give up every once in a while. You can’t understand how freeing it is.
17. Be someone else for your whole life, and then right before you die, say “Just kidding!”
18. Read a book.
19. Read another book.
20. Go outside.
21. Get off the computer!
22. RIGHT NOW!
23. GO OUTSIDE!!!
24. I thought I told you to leave…
26. Listen to “Dammit” by blink182. Reflect.
27. Count to 78 by -3s
28. Skip ahead to 48.
29. When someone tells you that you are stupid, glare at them until they cry. If this requires you to follow them for years, do it!
30. Stop the world and melt with me.
31. Write dark poetry and read it at your birthday party.
32. Don’t follow strange advice. (And don’t eat pickles before sunrise)
33. .sdrawkcab etirW
34. Make up a new word.
36. Give Dylan MacKenzie a hug and say that he smells like Jesus.
37. Open your mind to new ideas. A closed door attracts no hoboes.
38. Don’t take Beatles songs literally. Even though love is nice, food and water are also required.
39. Laugh.
40. Cry.
41. Scream.
42. Dance.
43. Immortality is not meant for human. Don’t start something you can’t finish.
44. Go to a funeral where you know no one and make a very heartfelt speech. Then run away.
46. Don’t be depressed about someone dying. The dead person is not depressed about you living.
47. When you are about to die, make sure you have some witty last words. “Be sure to protect the- Blarghhhh!”
48. Go back to 28.
49. When a sign says “Take one”, take two. And then laugh because you are such a rebel.
60. Grow up old with someone you don’t like. Because then you will be able to complain and wallow in self pity.
61. You control your emotions. So if you want to be happy, just be happy.
62. Send me an angry letter about one of the things I wrote on this list.
63. Shut up and let me talk!
64. Compliment your teacher by telling her “Your buttocks look like plum watermelons!” Trust me, it always works.
66. Accept the fact that you are stupid.
67. Write something that you know nobody will read and put it on a site nobody visits.
68. Read 68 again.
69. Read this list starting at 39 and ending at 47.
70. I’m not even reading what I’m typing. I’m surprised you made it this far in the list. Because of this you will be rewarded. Simply walk up to me and say, “The potato is in my pants.” Make sure you do it when I am with a large group of people.
71. Never fall in love with someone who plays games. Unless of course, you like monopoly! Hahaha!
72. Screw over everyone else to make yourself feel happy. Then discover that you aren’t really happy. Repeat.
73. Make a stupid joke.
74. Always finish what you’ve st…
76. Laugh again.
77. WRITE A COMMENT FOR THIS BLOG!!!
78. Don’t create your own religion. THAT WAS MY IDEA!!!
79. Don’t waste your time reading long list on the internet. You have a life, don’t you?? DON’T YOU????
4 comments:
Oh, Ian. You're awesome. And because you avoided saying the word f**e, there must be less than 79. :D
I got the most out of comments 80-101. The "unfinished" rules were staggering. Just reading between the lines one is able to project your wisdom stated in 1-79. I have no other life than to read and take to heart your wisdom beyond your age.
:-)
Capa
To Capa- Thank you! You're a great judge of wisdom... hahaha.
And Seacoal: Sh... don't tell anyone...
my eyes have been opened to a whole new world :) facebook me
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001803375916#!/pages/The-United-Church-Of-Richard-Simmons/174958752566
its pretty much the best religion ever because its not making sense on purpose :) see what i mean? haha
i love you ian!
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